What makes a terrible commercial?
Answer: Terrible copy.
The following has got to be one of the worst commercials I’ve cut in a while. I’ll first give you the whole thing. Read it. Digest it. Then I’ll tear it apart line by line. The names of the person and the business have been changed so I don’t pop up in search engine traffic and then word gets back to the boss. Not good for Matt’s employment.
John Spanner and Great Valley Packing… Two names that are synonymous with success. Great Valley Packing IS John Spanner. That’s means they are part of the oldest continuous meat manufacture in the United States. John Spanner in Great Valley specializes in the production of specialized meats like smoked hams and bacon. They use the latest in technology along with the principle of quality by all their workers to produce the taste in meats their customers want. John Spanner of Great Valley…Shipping smoked hams and bacons across the United States…and the world.
Okay. I’m no copy writer, but I do have a knack for sensing when somebody is a bit full of themselves! This commercial starts out terrible from the beginning. When I proof read it, I thought surely it would get better as the spot went on, they they just had a terrible lead in. But actually it was very in tone with the rest of the spot.
John Spanner and Great Valley Packing… Two names that are synonymous with success.
Now there’s an unsubstantiated claim if I ever heard one. “Nintendo” is synonomous “video games”. People say, “Hey, let’s go play Nintendo.”
They DON’T say, “Wow, Bob. Your business is really taking off, you’re a regular John Spanner!” When people think “success” NOBODY thinks “John Spanner” OR “Great Valley Packing”. And this commercial has yet to convince me otherwise. Let’s continue, perhaps they’ll back up this claim.
Great Valley Packing IS John Spanner.
I suppose that’s true, if both are synonomous with success, I suppose they would be synonomous with each other too. And it IS true. Success IS success. No if’s an’s or but’s about it.
That’s means they are part of the oldest continuous meat manufacture in the United States.
What? Wait, THAT’S what that means? I’m feeling really out of the loop about now. How long have people in the United States been packing meat? Was John Spanner really there when it all started? How old is this dude? IF John Spanner REALLY IS Great Valley Packing AND that DOES MEAN that they’re part of the oldest continuous meat manufacture in the United States; THEN by my estimation This guy has to be AT LEAST 100 years old. Is that somebody you really want handling powerful spinning blades? And who’s this “they”? I thought it was just Mr. Spanner.
John Spanner in Great Valley specializes in the production of specialized meats like smoked hams and bacon.
Well if you’re going to specialize in something, it might as well be something specialized, I guess. But are smoked hams and bacon really all that special? I’m pretty sure I can get those from the Schwan’s guy, or Wal-Mart. What’s so special about them?
They use the latest in technology, along with the principle of quality, by all their workers to produce the taste in meats their customers want.
First of all, I don’t even think this is a sentence by grammatical standards. And I don’t know about you but when I walk into the Specialized Meat section to check out the bacon, I try to look for the bacon that was sliced by LASERS! After all, meat just tastes better when you use the latest technology.
John Spanner of Great Valley…Shipping smoked hams and bacons across the United States…and the world.
This line would be a perfect end to the commercial…had John been able to back up any of his grandiose claims. But instead it leaves me thinking, “Seriously, John. Name one place outside the USA you’ve shipped some bacons. I’ll even let you count Hawaii and Alaska.”
This isn’t a commercial about selling a product. John just paid a princely sum in order to hear his name on the radio and feel good about himself. While it may satisfy is narcissistic tendencies, I feel that money would be better spent on therapy.
Trying to adjust.
It goes without saying that there’s been a lot of change in my life lately. And I wouldn’t change anything about it. Married life is great, the job is great, all is well. If anything, I’m just having a little difficulty adjusting to my schedule.
I’ve always had trouble getting up in the morning, but lately it seems like everything is rushed in the mornings. A lot of that has to do with I’ve gone from going in at 11:00 at my old job, to going in at 9:00 here. So I get up at the same time I used to, but have a lot less time in the mornings. I’m considering getting up a couple hours earlier everyday, but that puts me at less than 6 hours of sleep, and I’m not sure how my body will handle that in the long term, and I don’t really want to go to bed any EARLIER than I do now!
How much sleep does everybody get at night? I’m getting about 7 hours a night right now, and feel like I’m sleeping too much of the day away. Does anybody get less than 6 hours and wish they could get more? Everybody’s going to be different, of course. I just don’t want to waste anymore time snoozing away time I’ll never get back!
We’re officially unpacked!
Well I took my day off today to get the rest of our crap out of boxes. I did a lot of cleaning and found a place for a lot of stuff. Everything else is being stored in the basement. So nice to have a place to put that stuff! Here’s some pics of the inside. It’s very retro, and the walls still need paint. Hopefully that happens soon. Again, gotta get together with the landlord.
The Living Room:
Since we got rid of the couch, we pulled out the K-State camp chair. It works well enough!
Kitchen:
Soo much storage! We have cupboards that don’t even have anything in them! Plus I got my old Zenith tube radio working.
The Bathroom:
A little small, but bigger than our last bathroom, believe it or not!
Spare Room:
A.K.A. Andrea’s Jam Room. There’s TONS of storage in here. The two walls you can’t see in the picture have big closets built in to them.
Computer Room:
A day off!
Since we worked all day Saturday, our boss told all of us to pick a day this week to take off, as long as we didn’t all pick the same day of course! And here it is, another three day weekend for me! The great part about it is I got paid for Saturday and now I’m getting paid today too! Geeze, Platinum Broadcasting never would have done that.
So I’ve been lazy so far. Slept in an extra hour. Now I’m just relaxing infront of the computer with some piping hot coffee. Black. It’s a good day so far. Lots to do though. I need to do the dishes and some cleaning up around the house. A friend from work is coming over tonight, and Bryan and Jamie are headed to town tomorrow morning. Maybe I’ll FINALLY get everything unpacked.
I’d do some painting today, but the landlord hasn’t got the paint yet. Although she DID get ahold of me to tell me she couldn’t find it anywhere. At least she’s thinking about it I guess.
Going to play some Guild Wars today if time permits. But the more I sit here on my butt, the less time to do that later. Fire up the grill tonight for some brats and beers, and just kick back and enjoy the day. Life can be up and down, but right now, it’s pretty good.
I can haz interwebs!
I knew I couldn’t trust the cable company. They said they had to send somebody by. I don’t think anybody came by. The feable piece of wire that held the cable box shut was still very much like I last left it. I came home from work and Andrea was on the phone with Cox customer support. She chats with him for what seems like forever, unplugs the modem. Plugs it in, does a bunch of stuff, blah blah blah. Keeps saying our account isn’t “Authorized”. So he tells her they’ll send a guy out. Friday at the earliest. WTF.
So we trouble shoot some stuff on our end. Make sure all the connections are good. And finally I went as far as to hook the cable modem straight up to the cable that’s coming off the pole outside. Still no change. So the problem was DEFINITELY on there end. I’m convinced that there’s just a problem with our account and that they don’t have the right modem MAC address on there. So I convince Andrea to give ’em a call back, and she asks them to double check the modem on the account. Sure enough, it hasn’t been transferred yet. So after about 15 minutes of her sitting on hold, they FINALLY get it all straightened out and we have the internet again.
Seriously though. Why can’t people just get things straight? We’ve had issues setting up every single utility at this place so far. All of it just because people can’t seem to figure out how to transfer information from one address to another. Don’t even get me started on our water bill. Let’s just say there was one night last week we could only flush the toilet once. All because somebody can’t get numbers straight.
Anyway. It’s nice to have internet again. My computer isn’t anything great, but it’s sure a lot better than the ones we have at work! So much smoother and faster. And the chair here is more comfortable to boot!
07.14.08Sweet, sweet digital information!
Well, I finally broke. We called to get the internet set up at the house. So come Wednesday, I should be back! I can’t wait! It’ll be like Christmas in July!
Around the station
Here’s a few pics I snapped today after work. I’ve been meaning to remember my camera for a few days now. Finally got around to it.
Here’s a pic of the studio I work in now. It’s quite a bit more vintage, but it works well enough. By far the worst part is having to sit in that damn wooden chair for 4 hours. Not comfortable at all! The on air system is STORQ. Like the rest, it’s a bit dated, but it works a hell of a lot better than what we used at the other station.
Oh, and look at this. This is back behind a shop next to the radio station.
Can you tell what it is?
???
It’s a Delorean! I wish I could get closer. (Wish I could buy it actually…but yeah) Pretty sweet. It’s the closest I’ve ever been to one, and I can’t get that close!
And here’s a big old Oldsmobile parked out front. Hasn’t moved since I started working there. Wish I could give it some love. Of course my car needs some lovin’ as it is now!
That’s it for now! More as it becomes almost interesting.
07.11.08Mom’s insane cat.
It’s insane, no description needed.
A few sayings…
Here’s a few little quotes I’ve heard thoughout my days. Not all from famous people, but some of them are. Most of them I don’t even know where I heard them. But I’ve held onto them all this time, because these simple little truths help me get thought the sticky situations.
Don’t worry about what you can’t change, and do something about the ones you can.
A smart man learns from his mistakes. A genius learns from the mistakes of others.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy problems.
Money isn’t everything, but I’d like to see you live without it.
Things usually are the way they are for a reason.
You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect a different result.
That’s all I can really recall off the top of my head. Feel free to add to the list!
The new place
It’s nothing to brag about, but here’s some pictures of the new place. It’s definetly an older place. Looks like it was remodeled…somewhere around 1954. But it’s got lots of room, lots of storage, and seems to be a fairly well-built house. The rent is significantly cheaper than Ogden was. Almost half the price, and almost double the space. That is if you DON’T count the unfinished basement.
It needs some paint on the trim real bad. And the carport could use some new wood in places. The landlord is supposed to get us the supplies, so that should work out. Just have to keep harassing her until she does.
Here’s how it looked when we moved in:
I trimmed up the plants and trees and I think it already looks a world better. But man I GOTTA get some paint on that trimwork. Hideous.
Hopefully we stay here for two years or so, then maybe buy something. We’ll see where the wind blows. All I know is I’m sick of moving!