B.G. Willers

10. Wood Chuck Hard Apple Cider: What better way to start off a beer list than with something that isn’t even beer? Nevertheless, when “beer drinking time” arises, Woodchuck can blend in like a foreign exchange student who speaks passable English. It’s a sweet drink, but not a “fruity” drink It’s light and easy to drink a lot of. Certainly its most dangerous quality.

9. Bud Light Lime: Two sweet beverages in and you think you know me. You’re already passing judgment on me. Probably using terms like “girly man” and “beer noob”. Well I don’t give a crap what you think. This stuff tastes like beer and Fruit Loops. I like beer. I like Fruit Loops. Do the math.

8. Dos Equis: I don’t always drink beer… but.. awe hell. Who am I kidding. I always drink beer. And everytime I think about how I probably shouldn’t drink the local tap water, I get a strange craving for Dos Equis. It’s smooth, tasty, and won’t give you an intestinal sickness. That’s good enough for number eight.

7. Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale: Brewers will literally turn anything into beer. One of my favorite oddities and seasonal brews is this one. Don’t go into this thinking “pumpkin pie”. Wrong. Think more.. just pumpkin. It’s odd, but satisfying at the same time. I always like to crack one of these open in the fall. Or drink one in June to remind me of fall.

6. Red Stripe: When I eat at an ethnic restaurant, I like to have one of the regional beers. There was a great restaurant in Manhattan, that I’m not sure whether it still exists or not, called The Little Grill. (Make sure your friends don’t think you said ‘The Little Girl’) They served up some awesome jerk chicken. And nothing washes it down better than a light and tasty Red Stripe. It’s easy to drink, but a bit too pricey for me to drink often.

5. Guiness: Before I tried Guiness, I was afraid of Guiness. You may have heard “So thick you can chew it”, or maybe it was just me that heard that. But once I tried it, I loved it! Sure it’s a tad thicker than your average beer, but it’s not like you’re drinking motor oil. It’s full. It has flavor. It’s the kind of beer that you don’t casually drink while you’re hanging out. Because it’s the kind of beer that demands your attention every time you take a drink. It’s good to look at. It’s even better to drink. If you’ve never tried it, try it.

4. Black & Tan: There’s nothing that’s not fun about a Black & Tan. It’s fun to order at the bar. It’s fun to drink. It’s fun to make. And if you have a couple it can even make boring people fun. Like me.

3. Miller High Life: I’m pretty sure I’m the only person left that still drinks High Life. Because I’ve never once seen any one buy it, anyone stock it in their fridge, or anyone bring it to a get together. What I suspect is that the High Life brand is just a huge tax write-off for Miller and all the the beer is worth more to them when unsold than it is when people actually buy it. It’s the only way I can explain how they keep making it when I am the only one buying it. But it’s definitely my cheap beer of choice. Sure beats a Keystone any day.

2. Coors Original: I wasn’t always a beer drinker. But Coors Original was the beer that made me think that not all beer was bitter, watery foam. I love the grain flavor you get with this beer. It’s kinda like drinking a tasty loaf of home made bread. There’s so much more flavor in a “heavy” beer than you find in your average light beer. But as the nickname would imply, this beer, when enjoyed regularly WILL make you fat. But so will bacon. And any beer that has something in common with bacon, is a beer I can get behind.

1. Boulevard Wheat: This is a somewhat local beer. Brewed in Kansas City and readily available in pretty much every drinking establishment within a tank of gas or two. It’s one of the first beers I tried when I started to venture out and start trying all sorts of varieties. As the name suggests, it has a distinct wheaty flavor to it and kind of a sharp bite. And I like it with a lemon wedge. There’s a few things that no matter what kind of day you’ve had, they can start to turn it around. Puppies, rollercoasters, and an ice cold tall frosty glass of Boulevard Wheat. Any day you have a glass of this, you know that it can’t possibly be the worst day of your life. And I guess that depressing quality makes it number one?